In Sheffield, a vicar was hospitalised with a potato up his bum.
In what has been described as a half-baked explanation, he claims he fell backwards onto the spud whilst hanging curtains, naked. He added he was surprised by the events, as he usually keeps his eyes peeled.
An investigation has revealed the act was quite deliberate, after police said that the vicar had been reported to them by one of his flock, and that he had been exposed by a shepherd spy. The vicar had got pretty mashed earlier in the evening and was feeling quite chipper before the incident, which occured at a potato clock. He briefly had second thoughts about what he was about to do, but wasn't pomme deterred as the potato was very a-peeling. He considered putting the potato on his knob, but didn't want to see himself as a dick-tater. Afterwards, he went to hospital, complaining that his arse was sore-teed.
The bishop has since given the vicar a thorough roasting. His explanation regarded as a load of waffle, his reputation in tatties, he has gone back to his roots, but may still not avoid the sack. Another vicar told us "It looks like he's had his chips." The vicar is thought to be small fry to the bishop and to have frittered away his career.
We should note it is not the first time he has been involved in controversy, previously he was accused of attempting to stick a potato in a friar. The vicar has accused the bishop of having a chip on his shoulder since that incident.
Me? I'm just a common-tater. You? You're all spec-taters. I should probably jacket in.
Like bad pennies in broken jar
They just keep turning up! "Make sure you do a lot with your 60 grand because you're not gonna get it no more bruv..." Well done the lad for standing up to racist bullies. He is an absolute hero! Take down PC Alex MacFarlane, racist PC Alex MacFarlane, violent racist PC Alex MacFarlane, take him down, all the way. While we're on the subject DISBAND THE MET!
Well good gosh blimey!
Galloway by 10,000 in Bradford West. Who expected that? Obviously he doesn't mean the same to me today as a few years ago and the result probably won't disabuse him of the notion that it's all just him, superstar politician, but this is a good thing. The House of Commons is better for George Galloway being in it (though he's much better use to the cause getting out and about the country, like he did before the Iraq war). This is a good thing.
This, on the other hand is a bad thing:
Virtually everything is 'fundamentalist' according to our overlords these days. Shame on the Guardian for putting out filth like this, for going along with the racist smears.
This, on the other hand is a bad thing:
Virtually everything is 'fundamentalist' according to our overlords these days. Shame on the Guardian for putting out filth like this, for going along with the racist smears.
David Cameron says tanker drivers have no justification for striking
Yes, well, the corrupt pig would say that. Tanker drivers can't hold the country to ransom, only 'premier league' Tory party donors can do that. What justification does the drivers union claim? Let's do what no national newspaper or TV or radio outlet seems to want to do and find out. First of all:
I mean, come on, just because you vote, freely and fairly for something doesn't mean you're entitled to get it; give us £250k, THEN we'll see what we can do. But why have they voted like this?
Saftey, wages, pensions, piffle! What's important is that striking is bad, and the tanker drivers shouldn't do it because it would be back to the bad old days of the winter of discontent, when even tanker drivers refused to bury the dead, oh woe! If the tanker drivers do go on strike we've got to all pull together, do our bit for UKPLC (4 years without a stock market crash) and panic hoard petrol, sorry, stock up on petrol and store it in our garages... Hang on a minute, isn't that a bit dangerous?
Members of Unite working for five major fuel distribution firms delivering fuel for household names, including Tesco, Sainsbury’s, BP, Shell and Esso backed a call for strike action by an average of 69 per cent. Turnouts across the five companies averaged 77.7 per cent.
Unite urged the employers to meet their responsibilities and talk meaningfully about establishing reasonable minimum standards that secure the stability of this vital national industry. Attempts by the union to progress a forum have been thwarted by employers’ unrelenting attacks on drivers’ terms and conditions.
The results for the seven companies involved in the ballot are:
Turners 94.4 per cent in favour on a turnout of 81.8 per cent.
Norbert Dentressangle 74.8 per cent in favour on a turnout of 71.3 per cent.
Wincanton 68.4 per cent in favour on a turnout of 71.9 per cent.
BP 60.2 per cent in favour on a turnout of 85.8 per cent.
Hoyer 59.7 per cent in favour on a turnout of 79.7 per cent.
In DHL drivers narrowly voted against strike action (44.6 per cent), but voted in favour of action short of a strike (53 per cent). Members in Suckling voted against strike action (85 per cent) and action short of strike (76 per cent).
Over 61.1 per cent of those voting across the seven companies voted for strike action.
I mean, come on, just because you vote, freely and fairly for something doesn't mean you're entitled to get it; give us £250k, THEN we'll see what we can do. But why have they voted like this?
Tanker drivers work in an increasingly fragmented and pressurised industry where corners are being cut on safety and training in a bid to squeeze profits and win contracts. Drivers face growing job insecurity as a result of the contract ‘merry-go-round’ and a ‘beat the clock’ culture has flourished with drivers forced to meet ever shorter delivery deadlines.
Final salary pension schemes have been swapped for inferior money purchase schemes, and some workers are now on their sixth pension in as many years, with 10 to 15 years left to go in the industry.
Saftey, wages, pensions, piffle! What's important is that striking is bad, and the tanker drivers shouldn't do it because it would be back to the bad old days of the winter of discontent, when even tanker drivers refused to bury the dead, oh woe! If the tanker drivers do go on strike we've got to all pull together, do our bit for UKPLC (4 years without a stock market crash) and panic hoard petrol, sorry, stock up on petrol and store it in our garages... Hang on a minute, isn't that a bit dangerous?
Land of Chocolate
David Cameron hires a man to deal with press and public relations. He hires a man who used to work for News International as a journalist, a smart move. Communications Chief is a high profile role, just ask Alisdair Campbell: despite being given warnings about about employing this former journalist, David Cameron goes ahead. So long as he never asked said former journalist "so, is there anything I should know, anything from your past that might prove embarrassing or, who knows, maybe incriminating...?" David Cameron is not party to any crime.
David Cameron has a neighbour. This neighbour IS a journalist with News International. This neighbour is also a friend. The friend of David Cameron gets a new horse. The friend is understandably very proud and invites people round to see it. When David Cameron went round to have a ride on it he was not aware that it was a police horse lent to said journalist. Meanwhile, in a totally unconnected set of events, said journalist is suspected of bribing civil servants and police officers in return for information. So long as David Cameron never said "so, I see you have a new horse, that's interesting, where did you get it from...?" he cannot be party to any corruption.
David Cameron likes to eat, who doesn't? But he is a busy man. He has to have someone to arrange dining partners for him. Who wants to dine alone? But the people who arrange dining partners for David have a preference for Tory party donors suggest that the more you donate the better your access to David Cameron is and that £250,000 is the kind of money you need to sway government policy. So long as David Cameron never says, "hey, you've done so much for me, and you've been such good company while I've swallowed these canapes and drunk this champagne, is there anything I can do for you...?" he's not a corrupt scumbag for hire.
In other news David Cameron lives in the Land of Chocolate.
Pessimism ahoy!
One of the most tangled questions of our time, I think, is how we pitch the idea of resistance to ordinary people. It is often said that the government is weak. This is true and yet it often sounds so false. Weakness is relative. The government is 'weak', yet its plans for austerity and privatisation roll on.
There is a lingering weakness that is perhaps ratified by an uncritical reading of Rosa Luxemburg's pamphlet on the mass strike (it's a thin observation, I know - there's more to it than this, but...). In her design the mass strike carries a lot of weight. It is a solution to working class division and (all but) a cure all for the weaknesses of organisation. This is true, but the pamphlet separates out valid observations about mass strikes from the importance of long-term organisation. This is because the pamphlet was, effectively, an SPD internal document. It was not necessary for Luxemburg to argue the importance of the party in 1905 - that would have been stating the obvious. In the same way Gramsci did not have to add to his prison notebooks, whose first readership was senior PCI cadre, "by the way, we must smash also the state".
Things can change just like that, yet they don't seem to. The mass strikes of 1905 were a culmination of half a century of seemingly almost fruitless revolutionary activity. Mass strikes are always welcome. We want another good strike day on March 28th, but plenty of people can see it will not be enough to get the government on the run - simply pumping the action up won't cut it.
There is a lingering weakness that is perhaps ratified by an uncritical reading of Rosa Luxemburg's pamphlet on the mass strike (it's a thin observation, I know - there's more to it than this, but...). In her design the mass strike carries a lot of weight. It is a solution to working class division and (all but) a cure all for the weaknesses of organisation. This is true, but the pamphlet separates out valid observations about mass strikes from the importance of long-term organisation. This is because the pamphlet was, effectively, an SPD internal document. It was not necessary for Luxemburg to argue the importance of the party in 1905 - that would have been stating the obvious. In the same way Gramsci did not have to add to his prison notebooks, whose first readership was senior PCI cadre, "by the way, we must smash also the state".
Things can change just like that, yet they don't seem to. The mass strikes of 1905 were a culmination of half a century of seemingly almost fruitless revolutionary activity. Mass strikes are always welcome. We want another good strike day on March 28th, but plenty of people can see it will not be enough to get the government on the run - simply pumping the action up won't cut it.
Unless you do something about it...
This is the future mapped out for us, you and me. The government holds you down while rich people rob you and the Labour Party and the union leaderships look the other way. This is the future. An upper class thug laughing in your face. Forever. If there is hope, even if at the moment it seems like one preposterously slim ray of hope, hope lies in the proles.
The greatest post in the world... EVER!
With help from Keith Watermelon, The Doc of Rock, Big Pete, Ted Splitter, Julie and Ruairidh. A band and-or musician/children's show and-or character pun mash-up. Enjoy:
Lemmy the Pooh
Postman Patti Smith
Curious George Michael
Simply Red Riding Hood
Bagpussycat Dolls
Andy Pandy Warhols
Hanson and Gretel
Terrahawkwind
Coldplayschool
Thundercat Stevens
The Cat Stevens in the Hat
Dumbo Diddley
Phil Oakey-o
Fred Flintstone Roses
Penfolds Five
Bill and Ben Folds Five
Mr Benn Folds Five
Mr Mr Benn
Dangermodestmouse
Peter Pans People
Duran Durango
Huey Lewis and the Newsround
Bruce Hornsby and the Might Morphing Power Rangers
Count Dukula-Shaker
Fall Out Boyz 2 Men
Tracey DC Beaker
Biggles Audio Dynamite
Henrys Cat Stevens
Bananamanarama
Bananamanfred Mann
He-Manfed Mann
8:15 from Manfred Mann
Right Said Fred Flintstone
Toad of Toad Hall & Oates
Pingugu Dolls
Bod Manners
Barney the Dinosaur Jr
The Family MadNess
The TellytubBees
The BuzzlightyearCocks
Mickey Modest Mouse
The King Rollos of Leon
AsteRick Astley
SuperGran Master Flash
Manic Pigeon Street Preachers
Cities of Gold-ie Looking Chain
Gaye Byker Grove on acid
Fireman Sam Cooke
Lieutenant Pigeon Street
Woody Guthrie Woodpecker
Optimus Primal Scream
Beauty & the Beastie Boys
Guns 'n Rosie & Jim
Jamie Cullum and the Magic Torch
The Secret Soundgarden
Scooby Doo-ran Duran
Terrorvisionhawks
Muttley Crue
Museround
Portland Billy Joel
Superted Nugent
Mummra & Sons
Echobellytubbies
Hong Kong Fooey Fighters
Echo & the Bugs Bunnymen
Michael Jetsons'
Windy Milli Vanilli
Camberwick Greenday
SpongeBoB Marley
Herman's Kermits
Portland Bill Withers
Pete Wylie Coyote
Pob Will Eat Itself
Justified Ancients of Noo-Noo
Super Furry Animals of Farthing Wood
Captain Planet Beefheart
Kevin Rowland Rat
Tiswas Not Was
Dexy's Magic Roundabout
Trevor & Simon & Garfunkel
Deputy Dawgstar
Justified Ancients of Boo Boo
The Sugarhill Press Gang
Smurf Wind and Fire
Chumbawombles
Zebedee-liite
The Temper Trapdoor
The Fresh Artist Formerly Known as Prince
Press Gang of Four
Gamesmaster flash
Winnie the Pooh Tang Clan
Blue Peter Andre
Blue Peter Gabriel
Johnny Ball Hates Jazz
Hector's House of Pain
Pat Sharpe's Funhouse of Pain
Little House of Pain on the Prairie
Mr Benn at Work
Mister Men at Work
Maid Marian and Her Merry Men at Work
They Might Be Jossy's Giants
The Cure-ious George
The Wonder Yeah Yeah Yeahs
Lionel Ritchie and the Wardrobe
Curiosity killed the Top Cat
Dr Snuggles and the Medics
Bagpssy Riot
Barry White and the Seven Dwarves
Simon & Garfield
Muppet Babyshambles
Saved by the Belle and Sebastian
Rosie and Jimiroquai
Green Day Claws
Mr Bungle, Zippy and George
Prodigimon
Itchy & Scratch Perverts
Let's Pretenders,
Roobarb & Busted
Fantômas-ters of the Universe
Gordon the Go Team
Gordon the Gomez
Mr B-Enya
Bill & Benya
My Little New Young Pony Club
Notorious B.I.G.G.L.E.S.
Puff Daddy and the Family Ness
The Lighthouse Family Ness
Sharky & George Harrison
Fingerbobs Geldof
The Mamas & the Papa Smurf
Frank Zappapa Smurf
The Littlest Hobo Diddley
Jimbo Diddley
Tiny Tempah Tots
Dappy Duck
Keith Button Moon
Texas Pete Seeger
Three Colours Red Riding Hood
Hangin' with Alice Cooper
How 2Pac
Mighty Eek-A-Mouse
Benji, Zax and the Alien Artist Formerly known as Prince
Faith No Morph
Disband the Met
Cops with guns on an NHS demo. Yes, an NHS demo, the 17th of March, 2012. And, yes, they clubbed demonstrators then prevented ambulances from getting to the injured. Oh, the banter! Welcome to Total Policing in Olympic year.
The police are a gang, a criminal gang, no more no less. We should start using the slogan "Disband the Met". They kill, they maim, they injure and intimidate, they bribe, they run drugs, they organise blacklists. They are the paramilitary wing of the government.
Disband the Met.
Comfortably the best thing to happen in 2012
now all we need is george osborne to make like stephen milligan, and i'll really believe things are turning.
Idiots, zealots, insult after insult...
The rich just aren't just tax dodgers, they're wage dodgers, but one thing's certain, they aren't rich enough. Let's nail something right away. Income tax, tax on personal income, is nothing to do with investment (given that the people, though what's supposed to be their government, have majority control of all the major banks, investment should not be an issue). The rich have bilked our society for too much and too long. It's time they paid up in full. Close the tax loopholes.
The aestheticisation of politics
From The Work of Art in the Age of Mechanical Reproduction:
As in 1936 it is in 2012.
The growing proletarianization of modern man and the increasing formation of masses are two aspects of the same process. Fascism attempts to organize the newly created proletarian masses without affecting the property structure which the masses strive to eliminate. Fascism sees its salvation in giving these masses not their right, but instead a chance to express themselves. The masses have a right to change property relations; Fascism seeks to give them an expression while preserving property. The logical result of Fascism is the introduction of aesthetics into political life. The violation of the masses, whom Fascism, with its Führer cult, forces to their knees, has its counterpart in the violation of an apparatus which is pressed into the production of ritual values.
All efforts to render politics aesthetic culminate in one thing: war.
As in 1936 it is in 2012.
Newspapers as ambient prose
Ambient music is music that rewards attention but does not demand it. In fanciful moments I have wondered whether there is such a thing as ambient prose. I think there is. For no good reason I have been watching people read on the bus to work (carefully, mind you), in particular the speed with which they get through a magazine or newspaper. Not long ago I saw a man get from the front to the back of the Metro in (by my reckoning) under two minutes.
This is a function of mass literacy combined with a lack of an outlet for it. The printed word is a hot medium, requiring attention and patience, encouraging detached and sequential logic. This clearly does not mesh with the reality of life for half-sleeply Londoners on their way to work. There is a problem if newspapers are experienced not as a collection of stories supported by facts but a series of flickering impressions, over in two minutes.
Newspapers were born of bourgeois culture, between the town cryer and the radio station. The medium is shaped by the needs and prejudices of the bourgeoisie (who, amongst other things, have ample time to sit and read). The existence of a socialist newspaper is an example of the working class beginning to master bourgeois culture.
If newspapers cannot fulfil what's considered to be their function, bringing current affairs to the general population, it's time they were replaced (along with the social relations that gave rise to them). Of course that's easier said than done.
This is a function of mass literacy combined with a lack of an outlet for it. The printed word is a hot medium, requiring attention and patience, encouraging detached and sequential logic. This clearly does not mesh with the reality of life for half-sleeply Londoners on their way to work. There is a problem if newspapers are experienced not as a collection of stories supported by facts but a series of flickering impressions, over in two minutes.
Newspapers were born of bourgeois culture, between the town cryer and the radio station. The medium is shaped by the needs and prejudices of the bourgeoisie (who, amongst other things, have ample time to sit and read). The existence of a socialist newspaper is an example of the working class beginning to master bourgeois culture.
If newspapers cannot fulfil what's considered to be their function, bringing current affairs to the general population, it's time they were replaced (along with the social relations that gave rise to them). Of course that's easier said than done.
No fault of mine
Ether makes you behave like the village drunkard in some early Irish novel ... total loss of all basic motor skills: blurred vision, no balance, numb tongue---severance of all connection between the body and the brain. Which is interesting, because the brain continues to function more or less normally ... You can actually watch your self behaving in this terrible way, but you cant control it. A total body drug. The mind recoils horror, unable to communicate with the spinal column.
More about icons
There are two types of fear abroad in our capitalist democracy, fear regarding the control of information and the resulting manipulation of public opinion. First is that the rigid, hierarchical structure of the mass media means results in information being tightly controlled, the meaning of events strictly determined from above. The second fear is that people are swamped by information, meaning is only broadly defined, the mass of people are allowed, nae, positively encouraged to indulge in fantasy and counter-logic (you can prove anything with facts...).
It doesn't take too much braingrind to realise these two modes of manipulation are closely related, in practice they are intertwined. Rigid control of information is reinforced by exaggeration and fantasy. Fox News is Exhibit A in this case; it turns out no news is better than Fox News.
It's important to recognise neither of these modes of manipulation are not more oppressive or more insidious than the other, though the former might be more obvious. The latter method is icongraphy, broad outlines within which people can determine their own meaning to some degree. Walter Benjamin called it the aestheticisation of politics, which he saw as specifically fascist.
Adolf Hitler was a case in point. Hitler the man was a particular individual, no special talents nor redeeming features; not exactly an aryan superman (not even a vegetarian). Hitler the politician was a deliberately sculpted icon. He may not have been a ruined shopkeeper, impoverished lecturer or disgruntled officer, but a great many of the petty classes, whose lives were crushed the depression, could see an aspect of them in him; one which recovered their dignity (it goes without saying at the expense of others).
Benjamin's response to the aestheicisation of politics was to call for the politicisation of art. More generally this means the continual feeding of the class point of view into each aspect of everyday life (this we take as a practical, as well as intellectual job). Rooting out the material origin of icons demystifies them. It robs them of their power.
It doesn't take too much braingrind to realise these two modes of manipulation are closely related, in practice they are intertwined. Rigid control of information is reinforced by exaggeration and fantasy. Fox News is Exhibit A in this case; it turns out no news is better than Fox News.
It's important to recognise neither of these modes of manipulation are not more oppressive or more insidious than the other, though the former might be more obvious. The latter method is icongraphy, broad outlines within which people can determine their own meaning to some degree. Walter Benjamin called it the aestheticisation of politics, which he saw as specifically fascist.
Adolf Hitler was a case in point. Hitler the man was a particular individual, no special talents nor redeeming features; not exactly an aryan superman (not even a vegetarian). Hitler the politician was a deliberately sculpted icon. He may not have been a ruined shopkeeper, impoverished lecturer or disgruntled officer, but a great many of the petty classes, whose lives were crushed the depression, could see an aspect of them in him; one which recovered their dignity (it goes without saying at the expense of others).
Benjamin's response to the aestheicisation of politics was to call for the politicisation of art. More generally this means the continual feeding of the class point of view into each aspect of everyday life (this we take as a practical, as well as intellectual job). Rooting out the material origin of icons demystifies them. It robs them of their power.
No accounting for taste
Honestly, you leave the internet alone for 24 hours and somebody does something stupid with it. Who are these douchebags pouting with rocket launchers?
Further rhetoric
An interesting thing, you've probably come across it in argument; when you argue "capitalism, J'accuse!" a rightwinger will retort something along the lines of "your moribund belief system has killed millions". Interesting: redbaiting as an argument is always burned on the outside, frozen on the inside, never properly cooked. Marxism is a moribund belief system, OK, but it's also vigourous enough to kill millions.
You can and should point out that stalinism in all its varieties is state capitalism. You offer that observation for a third party to contemplate. Rightist redbaiters can seldom cope with the concept, let alone accept it. The point of offering the Marxism Kills observation is to turn the tables. You have gone from attacking capitalism to defending socialism.
Think of things another way. If we are going to flatly condemn violence we must ask what political philosophy doesn't have blood on its hands? The current British government consists of Tories and Liberals. For centuries these two political traditions administered the British Empire, with all its wars, all its repression. They oversaw the slave trade, the Highland Clearances, the Potato Famine, the gassing of Kurds and the firebombing of Dresden to name a few incidents: and that only takes us up to 1944. Politics is the articulate expression of struggle, of violence. Every political philosophy is violent.
Even if we accept the dubious notion of continuity between Marx and Stalin (and the lesser Stalinist tyrants), the majority of humanity has been governed by bourgeois political philosophy for the last 400 years. The level violent death inflicted, from the grandest horror to the everyday holocaust of starvation, stretches far beyond Stalin's road of bones.
You can and should point out that stalinism in all its varieties is state capitalism. You offer that observation for a third party to contemplate. Rightist redbaiters can seldom cope with the concept, let alone accept it. The point of offering the Marxism Kills observation is to turn the tables. You have gone from attacking capitalism to defending socialism.
Think of things another way. If we are going to flatly condemn violence we must ask what political philosophy doesn't have blood on its hands? The current British government consists of Tories and Liberals. For centuries these two political traditions administered the British Empire, with all its wars, all its repression. They oversaw the slave trade, the Highland Clearances, the Potato Famine, the gassing of Kurds and the firebombing of Dresden to name a few incidents: and that only takes us up to 1944. Politics is the articulate expression of struggle, of violence. Every political philosophy is violent.
Even if we accept the dubious notion of continuity between Marx and Stalin (and the lesser Stalinist tyrants), the majority of humanity has been governed by bourgeois political philosophy for the last 400 years. The level violent death inflicted, from the grandest horror to the everyday holocaust of starvation, stretches far beyond Stalin's road of bones.
Trees must die
For no particular raisin we return to the wanderings of George Monbiot. Every time he makes you think "wow, he's our very own Upton Sinclair", or something like that, he goes and produces something utterly wacky, like How Ayn Rand became the New Right's Version of Marx.
Now, we're all politically literate folk here, I assume. I think we can say it's fairly understood that (1) The New Right are nutty fanatics (2) the New Right is often inspired by Ayn Rand (3) New Right philosophy, like Randian (sorry, Objectivist) philosophy is vicious, violent and at frequently at odds with reality.
This isn't the point of Monbiot's piece.
There are two rituals for professional, non-aligned left wingers to observe. First you must find something wrong with Marx/Marxism. Finding something wrong about Marx/Marxism is the first thing any leftie author wanting to peddle a theoretical innovation has to do: trees must die because Marx was wrong. Marx is inescapable. Attacking Marx in this way is a backhanded compliment.
The second ritual, less well observed, is Orwellian even-handedness. Rightists are team players, but there's a type of professional leftie who considers it the height of sophistication to attack their own side, which is all Orwell did, really.
This is the point of the article. The majority of people in the comment box (not the most representative sample of society, or even Grauniad readers, but hey) are talking about Marx, not Rand. Asked how Monbiot could compare one of the most erudite, educated and humane thinkers of the 19th century to a chicken headed fascist, he said:
Anyone who has not read The Manifesto of the Communist Party may be impressed by this. The section Monbiot quotes from (and very approximately too) is the first section, Bourgeois and Proletarians: a basic history of capitalism, interwoven with simple prognostication about its future. The manifesto is very obviously not about post-revolutionary society. The grinding of certain classes under the wheel of history (Monbiot's phrase) is attributed, in the manifesto at least, to capitalism.
None of this is impressive, coming from a generally fine investigative journalist, but such is the nature, often, of ideological struggle.
Now, we're all politically literate folk here, I assume. I think we can say it's fairly understood that (1) The New Right are nutty fanatics (2) the New Right is often inspired by Ayn Rand (3) New Right philosophy, like Randian (sorry, Objectivist) philosophy is vicious, violent and at frequently at odds with reality.
This isn't the point of Monbiot's piece.
There are two rituals for professional, non-aligned left wingers to observe. First you must find something wrong with Marx/Marxism. Finding something wrong about Marx/Marxism is the first thing any leftie author wanting to peddle a theoretical innovation has to do: trees must die because Marx was wrong. Marx is inescapable. Attacking Marx in this way is a backhanded compliment.
The second ritual, less well observed, is Orwellian even-handedness. Rightists are team players, but there's a type of professional leftie who considers it the height of sophistication to attack their own side, which is all Orwell did, really.
This is the point of the article. The majority of people in the comment box (not the most representative sample of society, or even Grauniad readers, but hey) are talking about Marx, not Rand. Asked how Monbiot could compare one of the most erudite, educated and humane thinkers of the 19th century to a chicken headed fascist, he said:
I agree with you on Marx's erudition and insight, but to me the Manifesto contains in theoretical form many of the horrors later visited upon the people of the Soviet Union and some other communist nations. Dialectical materialism reduces humanity's complex social and political relations to a simple conflict between the “bourgeoisie” and the “proletariat”; ie the owners of property and the workers, by which Marx and Engels meant, basically, factory workers. Any class which didn't tick one of these boxes was either, like the peasants, shopkeepers, artisans and aristocrats, destined to “decay and finally disappear in the face of modern industry”, or, like the unemployed, was “social scum, that passively rotting mass thrown off by the lowest layers of old society”, with no legitimate existence in a post-revolutionary world. But the world didn't work like that, and the people who didn't fit had to be shoved under the wheel of history.
Anyone who has not read The Manifesto of the Communist Party may be impressed by this. The section Monbiot quotes from (and very approximately too) is the first section, Bourgeois and Proletarians: a basic history of capitalism, interwoven with simple prognostication about its future. The manifesto is very obviously not about post-revolutionary society. The grinding of certain classes under the wheel of history (Monbiot's phrase) is attributed, in the manifesto at least, to capitalism.
None of this is impressive, coming from a generally fine investigative journalist, but such is the nature, often, of ideological struggle.
The artistic roll call
"Here's the deal, folks. You do a commercial - you're off the artistic roll call, forever. End of story. Okay? You're another whore at the capitalist gang bang and if you do a commercial, there's a price on your head. Everything you say is suspect and every word that comes out of your mouth is now like a turd falling into my drink." - Bill Hicks
I think that's true, or at least I don't see why that shouldn't be the case. I love Blur. They are the closest thing my generation got to a Beatles. The trouble is since then they gave possibly their best song to British Gas. This year they're giving their summer to the Olympics (because Blur were all about the sport, you see?). Have Blur become a bunch of hacks? It's a shame, isn't it, but look at the evidence.
Dave Rowntree is a pro-war Labour hack. Sadly he's probably the most principled of the four.
Graham Coxon writes songs for Converse trainers (it's a kind of tripped out voodoo... a tripped out voodoo that, presumably, makes you want to buy expensive shoes).
Damon Albarn you might think has some more taste and self-respect but, no, this is his shill for Rupert Murdoch and, hang on a minute, there's those Converse trainers again. They must be really good shoes!
But Alex James outdoes the rest of the band put together. He's a man you just can't say "no, thank you, I've got enough money already". Fast food is on a roll. Death squad president Alvaro Uribe is doing a good job because cocaine is bad, m'kay. Let us never forget Worstival and it's esteemed patrons. You want to know what happened to rock and roll, this is what happened:
For Alex James, the bassist from Blur who turned cheesemaker, it was the dream that became a nightmare. For a weekend last September, he gave over his luscious farm in the Cotswolds to a festival celebrating his two great loves: food and music. KT Tunstall and the Feeling played, while chefs such as Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and Yotam Ottolenghi gave cookery demonstrations.
More than 7,000 people attended each day, including the cream of the so-called Chipping Norton set. Jeremy Clarkson rolled up in his Range Rover, disgraced News International supremo Rebekah Brooks was there and even David Cameron, the prime minister, attended, baby Florence strapped to his chest in a harness as he browsed the street-food stalls.
What is the matter with these people? Why is it being a barker for shitty products and ugly corporate events is now the highest calling for a musician? Roll up! Roll up! Get your expensive trainers here! They're like a tripped out kind of voodoo... and somesuch...
Case. Fucking. Closed...
Wait a minute, open that up again... There's new album coming... a taster: Under the Westway.
On a weird week in politics...
I was going to post a comment on Lenin's Tomb, that ever fascinating and engaging website, the acknowledged home of internet Bolshevism (thank you: that'll be my usual fee), but something seems to be up with the comment boxes. Here's what I was going to say on the Tories Retreat... what's the odds it's going to be impressionistic and downbeat?
Wow, it was what the world was waiting for, wasn't it?
What an odd situation. The big battalions of class struggle supposed to fight these contests seem confused, enervated and perhaps paralysed. This leaves room for little flying squads of electricians and trotskyists to score victories. The trouble is irregular detachments struggle to alter the big picture. The NHS Bill is still alive, the breakup of comprehensive education is still going ahead, the housing benefit cap is still being fitted. Workfare may not be compulsory any more for 16-24 year olds (great!), but it's still compulsory for the long term unemployed and the sick (who can be asked to give unlimited slave labour).
Ye gods, it's going to take a lot to bring down this zombie government.
Wow, it was what the world was waiting for, wasn't it?
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