"Here's the deal, folks. You do a commercial - you're off the artistic roll call, forever. End of story. Okay? You're another whore at the capitalist gang bang and if you do a commercial, there's a price on your head. Everything you say is suspect and every word that comes out of your mouth is now like a turd falling into my drink." - Bill Hicks
I think that's true, or at least I don't see why that shouldn't be the case. I love Blur. They are the closest thing my generation got to a Beatles. The trouble is since then they gave possibly their best song to British Gas. This year they're giving their summer to the Olympics (because Blur were all about the sport, you see?). Have Blur become a bunch of hacks? It's a shame, isn't it, but look at the evidence.
Dave Rowntree is a pro-war Labour hack. Sadly he's probably the most principled of the four.
Graham Coxon writes songs for Converse trainers (it's a kind of tripped out voodoo... a tripped out voodoo that, presumably, makes you want to buy expensive shoes).
Damon Albarn you might think has some more taste and self-respect but, no, this is his shill for Rupert Murdoch and, hang on a minute, there's those Converse trainers again. They must be really good shoes!
But Alex James outdoes the rest of the band put together. He's a man you just can't say "no, thank you, I've got enough money already". Fast food is on a roll. Death squad president Alvaro Uribe is doing a good job because cocaine is bad, m'kay. Let us never forget Worstival and it's esteemed patrons. You want to know what happened to rock and roll, this is what happened:
For Alex James, the bassist from Blur who turned cheesemaker, it was the dream that became a nightmare. For a weekend last September, he gave over his luscious farm in the Cotswolds to a festival celebrating his two great loves: food and music. KT Tunstall and the Feeling played, while chefs such as Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall and Yotam Ottolenghi gave cookery demonstrations.
More than 7,000 people attended each day, including the cream of the so-called Chipping Norton set. Jeremy Clarkson rolled up in his Range Rover, disgraced News International supremo Rebekah Brooks was there and even David Cameron, the prime minister, attended, baby Florence strapped to his chest in a harness as he browsed the street-food stalls.
What is the matter with these people? Why is it being a barker for shitty products and ugly corporate events is now the highest calling for a musician? Roll up! Roll up! Get your expensive trainers here! They're like a tripped out kind of voodoo... and somesuch...
Case. Fucking. Closed...
Wait a minute, open that up again... There's new album coming... a taster: Under the Westway.