"Hello, I'm Wenlock! Don't I look smart in my police officer’s uniform? I have the important job of protecting you on your journey to the London 2012 Games. Take this figurine on a journey to the London 2012 Olympic Games – we can have lots of fun together!"
Fun together...? Ye, gods it's frightening (I don't want the Olympic Police on my back, go to this link, I promise you it is... well you'll see), and brought to you by the same people who thought that 13,000 soldiers padding you down and pointing a gun in your face, surface-to-air missiles on your roof and a warship prowling the Thames would be 'reassuring'.
But we have the internet, and where there's the internet there are smart-arses. Please enjoy the product reviews before the site is shut down and everyone is arrested. A few samples:
Scared of Stratford said:
I bought one of these for my nephew but before I could give it to him, Wenlock's 'All Seeing Eye' had spotted the leaflet on my kitchen table for an anti-Olympics protest on the day after the opening ceremony. Before I knew it, the building where I live was surrounded by a special armed Olympics police unit and now I'm banned from central Stratford's "Dispersal Zone" until late September.
Olympiad Spectacle said:
I bought this toy to take on my Olympic Journey as suggested by the technical details. Imagine my surprise when I woke up the next morning to find that it had left its case, called in reinforcements and kettled me in my bed.
I'm just glad I didn't buy the water cannon or Long Range Acoustic Device accessories.
Extremely Worried:
... Bought this toy last week and although it arrived quickly and it seems to be well made, I have some concerns. Every fifteen minute since I've opened it out of the packaging, it will shout phrases such as 'I AM THE EYE OF PROVIDENCE', 'PAX ROMANA' and 'THE SECRET IS WITHIN THE GREAT PYRAMID OF GIZA'.
One more. The Red Menace:
Since buying this toy, my neighbours collection of Gollies have all been unduly harassed or locked away in a cupboard for no reason.