The United Klingon Independence Party

Kingdom, surely...? Anyway, it seems the heat is on UKIP, and it's about time. Why? Here's why.

Physical exercise stops you from being gay. Unborn disabled children should be aborted. Nigel Farage admits UKIP candidates could be former BNP members, never mind, at least he's honest, also lap dancing clubs are alright. It seems the limit for UKIP is anti-semitism, which I suppose we should all be grateful for. At least holocaust denial will get you kicked off the ballot paper.

This is the United Kingdom Independence Party. This is, of course, the ugly, provincial underbelly of British life, pub bores, frustrated small businessmen, Graham from the Golf Course, characters we all know and loathe. UKIP is not fascist. Fascism is a right-wing movement that uses extra-parliamentary, often extra legal means. There is a fairly fluid interaction between the ideas of the far right and the mainstream right. The difference is that extra step the far right take, onto the streets, trying to assert such ideas.

No fascist movement ever starts out as an ideologically coherent force but converges, either on a cause or more often on a charismatic figure. The UKIP swamp is broad and dank. In it lurks the wounded monster of British fascism.

This swamp must be drained. What does that practically mean? A UAF-style campaign, perhaps, to suppress the UKIP vote and expose its activists wherever the need arises. Certainly something needs to be done otherwise, even if most people disagree, if this kind of politics is accepted as legitimate then it will give the genuine fascist right room to make a comeback.

Thoughts for the Brain - bespoke reality

Every moral philosophy presupposes a sociology, so said Alasdair MacIntyre. I’ve never read him but there’s no doubt this is true. In order to appraise anything in our society you have to understand what this society is and what point you are appraising it from. Even if you don’t accept the results of Marx’s study of political economy you have to accept he was on the right track.

We are lucky in Britain. Even at this eleventh hour we still have politics and public life constructed around the class point of view. There has been some talk about whether the recent presidential elections signal a return to reality in American public life; this is an example. The American ruling class has successfully prevented public life so far from forming on a class basis. This has not just involved fraud but an awful lot of force. Pre-World War Two class struggle was exceptionally bloody.

No ruling class is ever able to completely insulate itself. Despite the fantasies encouraged by skyscrapers, gated communities and industrial peonage that survives even today, 40 years after the Civil Rights movement, the American ruling class continues to ideologically organise the classes below it. America is a country where the right-wing mobilises, over issues such as tax and land values, against desegregation, reproductive rights, LGBT equality and immigration… and this is before we get into the true conspiracist fringe, and the pro-war rallies, yes, pro-war rallies, rallies for the powerful while they’re still in power, get a brain morans.

So often America has been described as undergoing a French Revolution in reverse, where the sans-culottes restore the ancient regime. The Republicans are like Jacobins in the negative sense, fanatics devoted to hammering reality into the shape of ideology. Remove any objective basis from politics and it will be dominated by lurid fantasies: Obama is a Muslim, general relativity is a liberal plot, gays caused Hurricane Sandy... one could go on. The sense of relief, not just with the presidential election, is understandable. Maybe the tide has turned. But we are dealing with the Democrats, who are perfectly happy not to capitalise on the current liberal shift in America.

We must beware of what the current Tory onslaught releases. We have no end of free-market fanatics, there are oil enriched climate change deniers in the cabinet, anti-abortionists on the benches, an ‘anti-wind farm agenda’ of all things in the Tory party and creationism in Gove’s ‘free’ schools. Part of the ruling class strategy of austerity is the struggle to remove class from the political equation. In this sense Blue Labour is prescient, though it shows the party admitting defeat before the battle has even really been engaged. The Labour party dare not appeal to its base to support the things it was founded to achieve.

We must head all this off before it comes to pass. Class must stay central to public life.

Special relativity? Liberal rubbish!

Just ask this scientician. He'll tell you that there's no evidence (apart from all that meticulously gathered evidence) that energy equals matter times the speed of light squared. Modern science is a just liberal conspiracy to promote thinking.

Are all Daily Mail columnists mad?

Or is it just Alexander Boot? Herr Boot thinks that homosexuality is not a disease, no, merely a 100 to 1 aberration  one that, we will see below, can apparently be 'taught'... by his maths it's clearly not taught well... either that or there's something wrong with his maths... But, so far, so Daily Heil. Alexander Boot deserves a special mention. Boot also thinks that Trenton Oldfield, boat race disruptor, graduating from the London School of Economics proves that the Fabian society (founded by "lifetime followers of Lenin") is destroying our society but, luckily Herbert Marcuse (another famous member) has given the game away. The aims of the Fabian Society are:

1. The creation of racism offences.
2. Continual change to create confusion
3. The teaching of sex and homosexuality to children
4. The undermining of schools’ and teachers’ authority
5. Huge immigration to destroy identity
6. The promotion of excessive drinking
7. Emptying of churches
8. An unreliable legal system with bias against victims of crime
9. Dependency on the state or state benefits
10. Control and dumbing down of media
11. Encouraging the breakdown of the family.

You remember this plan, don't you? The secret plan...? No...?

Simian poop-journalism pt 2

The weather is political... yes it's a strange world we live in but there are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio. The right-wing press, especially the leopard-on-a-plate/diana-conspiracy/hurrah-for-the-blackshirts variety, like to confuse weather with climate. Every instant of unusual weather is played up as casting doubt on those elitist boffins and their dastardly plan to have LeftieLesbianMuslamicEurocrats extend the congestion charge zone and nationalise your immersion heater.

Simian-poop journalism, as I'm now calling it, means if you fling enough shit at someone pretty soon they begin to smell. The concept of climate change has been under prolonged, egregious attack. Would you believe it, the attack is beginning to take its toll. Fewer and fewer people are willing to acknowledge the threat of climate change; I'd say 'believe in climate' change, but they know it's happening.

George Monbiot noticed recently that the national press's tendency to sensationalise and manipulate stories about the weather (barbeque summer, sleighbell winter etc) has led the Met Office to stop issuing long-range weather reports.

Where do the likes of the Mail and the Express get their forecasts now? Monbiot's been doing some digging, and found some interesting characters:

This month, I questioned the credentials of the alternative weather forecasters used by the Daily Mail, the Express, the Telegraph and the Sun. I suggested that their qualifications were inadequate, their methods inscrutable and their results unreliable. I highlighted the work of these two companies: Exacta Weather and Positive Weather Solutions (PWS).

OK, so what are these companies like? Who does their forecasting?

A sharp-eyed reader has sent me a screenshot he took from the PWS website at the end of last year. As you can see, it shows eight people whom the company lists as its forecasters and experts. (Well, seven and a cup of tea, currently standing in for its chief assistant forecaster). They have, the website claims, produced PWS's forecasts and written its blogposts. They have also been quoted in the Daily Mail.


So who are they? A picture search suggests an impressive range of talents. Take "Serena Skye", for example, listed by PWS as a "contributing weather forecaster". She also turns out to be a mail-order bride, a hot Russian date and a hot Ukrainean date. How she finds time for it all we can only guess.


"Emma Pearson", as well as working as PWS's assistant weather forecaster, also features on 49,800 hairdressing sites, modelling an emo hairstyle. (Emo, m'lud, is said to be a form of music, popular with certain members of the younger generation).


"Kelly Smart" has a remarkably busy life: as an egg donor, a hot date, a sublet property broker in Sweden, a lawyer, an expert on snoring, eyebrow threading, safe sex, green cleaning products, spanking and air purification. Perhaps more pertinently, she's also a model whose picture is available via a company called istockphoto.

No. There's clearly nothing fishy going on and you'd have to be a LeftieLesbianMuslamicEurocrat to think otherwise.

Newt Gingrich – satori in New Hampshire

He’s probably now not going to be the next President of the United States. Even so, Newt seems to have gained a valuable insight:

"Is capitalism really about the ability of a handful of rich people to manipulate the lives of thousands of other people and walk off with the money?"

Well yes and no, Newt, the only quibble being these days it’s possible to manipulate the lives of millions of people; but that’s just me being picky. Then again he also said that:

There is a gay and secular fascism in this country that wants to impose its will on the rest of us, is prepared to use violence, to use harassment...

Elsewhere:

I am convinced that if we do not decisively win the struggle over the nature of America, by the time [my grandchildren are] my age they will be in a secular atheist country, potentially one dominated by radical Islamists and with no understanding of what it once meant to be an American.

Which, as the author in the link suggests, begs the question of what on Earth gay-secular-fascist-islamists look like? What do they do, stone themselves to death?

Now, it’s all very well kicking a man when he’s down. For your enjoyment, Michael Moore, kicking Gingrich when he was up: