On the Toilet with Junior Hoilett
At the Sink with Jan Venegoor of Hesselink
In the Shed with Jonathan Stead
In the Bath with Steve and Garth - presented by the Spurs early 80's strike partnership of Archibald and Crooks
In the Bracken with Gordon Strachan - where the former Scotland international takes us on his favourite hillside walks
In the Shower with Lee Power
Under the Stairs with Stephen Pears
In the Cellar with Kasey Keller
On a Scooter with Batistuta
On a Ferry with Chris Perry
On the Telly with Stephen Kelly
On the Piss with Matt Le Tiss
On a Plough with Ken Monkou
On a Cycle with Peter Schmeichel
On a Bus with Steve Anthrobus
In the Car with Van der Sar
On the Train with James McLean
At the Door with Agbonlahor
Playing Jenga with Arsene Wenger
After Dark with Ji-Sung Park
By the Fire with Kieron Dyer
On the Floor with Darren Moore
On the Pier with Peter Fear
On the Stretcher with Gary Taylor-Fletcher
Out to Play with Emenike
In a Ditch with Mark Bosnich
Buying Knickers with Steve Vickers
Growing old with Steve Bould
On the Loo with Alan Pardew
Talking Crap with Harry Redknapp
On the Roof with El Hadji Diouf
Playing Sudoku with Efan Ekoku
Walking the Dales with Barry Hayles
At the Bar with Grobelaar
On a Ranch with Michael Branch
Down a Hole with Ashley Cole
In the Park with Ciaran Clark
Being Chucked off a Ferry with John Terry
Through the Void with Walter Boyd
At the Fridge with Wayne Bridge
Up the Chimney with Emmanuel Omoyimni
On the Stair with Frank Sinclair
At the Fair with Brian McClair'
At a party with Christian Abbiati
Swapping Paninis with Paolo Maldini
In the car with Niko Kranjcar (mispronunciation but whatever)
Having a Pee with AVB
Under the Sink with Nigel Spink
On the go with Tore Andre Flo
Listening to Geese Honk with Steed Malbranque
Getting Blotto with Assou-Ekotto
Home Alone with Huddlestone
Out the back with Rodney Jack
Building a fort with Carl Cort
In the Study with John Ruddy
In a Van with Sylvain Distin
In the Bin with Cliff Bastin
Talking Shite with Ian Wright
Acting crazy with Linda Buthelezi
Being a Pest with Taribo West
Art Nouveau with Celestine Babayaro
Ringing a Bell with John Obi Mikel
Down a shot with Joleon Lescott
Having a Piss with Filip Kiss
At the Deli with Balotelli
Having a Ramble with Frazer Campbell
Having a Wank with Hasselbaink
Fly Away with John O'Shea
Getting Hyper with Matt Piper
Lighting a Firecracker with Per Mertesacker
Riding a Pony with Benito Carbone
Smoking a Bong with Sebastien Bassong
Eating Linguine with Perpetuini
Sorting Files with Dean Shiels
Raking Leaves with Jimmy Greaves
Fitting a Bolt with Grant Holt
Having a Tinker with Regi Blinker
Moving on a Bosman with Leon Osman
Growing Barley with Hossam Ghaly
Playing Pool with Younes Kaboul
Drinking Cocoa with Ibrahima Bakayoko
Going loco with Tonton Zola Moukoko
Fleeing Sharks with John Harkes
In a Cab with Phil Babb
On the Hunt with Kenny Lunt
Playing Snooker with Corluka
On the Bed with Pavel Nedved
Wearing a Sou'wester with Iniesta
Doing the Haka with Kaka
Eating an Aero with Sergio Aguero
In the Sky with former Brazil captain Rai
Underwater with Gary Porter
Lighting a Fart with Joe Hart
By the sea with Robert Lee
On the Phone with Steven Stone
In the Yard with Steven Gerrard
Visit Kent with Darren Bent
The Valley of Rhondda with Pascal Chimbonda
In some Pain with Harry Kane
On the Dole with Andy Cole
Covered in Fluff with Damien Duff
Going to the Doctor with Michael Proctor
Learning to Sail with Gareth Bale
Meeting a Farmer with Carlton Palmer
Things that are Scary with Paul Stalteri
Wearing Bling with Ledley King
Using a Dagger with Daniel Agger
By the Side with Brian McBride
Telling Fibs with Kieron Gibbs
Looking at Venus with Jermaine Jenas
Eating a Bhaji with Gheorghe Hagi
Behind Bars with Overmars
Seaman's Seamen
In a Barrel with Andy Carroll
At the Bar with Stephen Carr
Over-eager with Christian Ziege
Threading a Needle with Brad Friedel
Up a Cliff with Peter Shirtliff
In a Lorry with Peter Storrie
Telling a Story with James McGrory
Using a Breville with Philip Neville
Rearing Pigs with Ryan Giggs
The Norman Conquest, with Norman Conquest
Picking up Sticks with Julian Dicks
Spinning Yarns with John Barnes
Talking Twaddle with Glenn Hoddle
On the Roster with Rui Costa
Make a Wish with Mark Fish
In a Box with Ruel Fox
In the Sewer with Iffy Onuoha
Using a Shaver with Lucas Leiva
Wearing a Bowler with Gianfranco Zola
Eating Mayo with di Matteo
In Rio with Dominic Matteo
Using a Welder with Glenn Helder
Justin Edinburgh's Justin Ed-inbred, where the former Spurs donkey meets families who are very inbred, but just in Edinburgh
Cooking Pork with John Wark
On the Bog with Ugo Ehiogu
Having a Feed with Andy Reid
Keeping a Turtle with Martin Skrtel
Cooking Mutton with Chris Sutton
Art Attack with Pogrebnyak
And finally... not a footballer, but another great idea:
In the Garage with Nigel Farage - note - will only be acceptable if said garage is filling with exhaust fumes